Something has happened to me. I'm going to try to summarize, but know it's hard when dealing with words. The best word would be surrender or 'a giving up.' I'm not speaking of the giving up you do when life gets tough but instead a giving up of my will. I think in my 20's if you would have asked the girl/woman that I was certain goals and aspirations I would have thrown around ideals such as degrees, careers, and other me-centric words. NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THOSE! Those are great goals that I love hearing my own children dream about! But what if my sole purpose in life is to be support staff? Hmmm.... You see life happens. For us that has been many children and oh the blessing. Don't miss this! God has tended to my heart in a way that I could not have dreamed of thru this humbling journey. Little ones often mean staying back or missing things that others are capable of doing and there is learning to be done in those moments. This has shifted my gaze to see not the speaker on the stage, but wonder at the hands of the people who built that platform. To not fall into a kind of worship at the ones in the limelight, but wonder at who it was who supported/sacrificed to help them achieve the great!
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23 year-old me who didn't have a clue that this was going to be my whole world. |
My key verses have become Philippians 2:16-17-As you hold firmly to the Word of Life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and serving coming from your faith I am glad and rejoice with all of you.
So whether support staff or the front runner let's be poured out and embrace the day whatever that may look like for each of us.
If you want a great book on surrender 'A Midwife's Story' by Penny Armstrong is terrific! The Amish are taught not to question or shake their fist at the Heavens for life's misfortunes, but to accept that it is just that, life with all its messes, complications and beauties.